Make Their Mouths Water: Want to Take the Boring Out of Your Writing?

The veterinarian extracted four socks, two dishtowels, and a washcloth from the Labrador’s stomach.

Wouldn’t you like to smell bread baking, listen to a melodic symphony, taste a juicy watermelon, watch an action film, or feel the wind in your face while sailing on a summer afternoon, rather than having someone tell you about it? 

When we read, we experience these sensations vicariously. A good writer makes readers smell, hear, taste, see, and feel what’s going on.

One of the easiest and most effective writing tools to accomplish this is to use the active voice. Put simply, the active voice is when the character (or subject of the sentence) is actively doing something. When a character (or object) receives the action, or has something done to them, it happens in the passive voice. 

Here are three ways to change passive voice to active voice:

1. Have the character perform the action.

The 10K race was run by Katie in record time. [passive]

Katie ran the 10K race in record time. [active]

Four socks, two dishtowels, and a washcloth were removed from the Labrador’s stomach. [passive]

The veterinarian extracted four socks, two dishtowels, and a washcloth from the Labrador’s stomach. [active]

2. Avoid using not; it can be a passive word.

Connor did not feel that listening to his economics professor was worthwhile. [passive]

Connor felt that listening to his economics professor was a waste of time. [active]

The economics professor did not feel that Connor’s attitude was respectful. [passive]

The economics professor felt that Connor’s attitude was disrespectful. [active]

3. Make your writing stimulating, rather than tedious.  

“A wave washed over the boat, knocking us abeam. Water cascaded through the hatch over Don, over me. The impact sent me face first into the edge of the radio shelf. Water gushed up the starboard bulkhead, soaking my front. My forehead stung and I could feel blood dripping down my cheek.”

—Reanne Hemingway-Douglass in her bestselling nautical memoir, 

Cape Horn: One Man’s Dream, One Woman’s Nightmare, published by Cave Art Press.