The Bad Stuff Is the Good Stuff: Dos and Don’ts of Memoir Writing

Do: Write from your heart.

Everybody has a story to tell. What makes yours compelling? Sellable? Good enough to make into a movie? Unless you’re Lady Gaga or Mahatma Gandhi, readers will not be waiting with bated breath for your story to hit the bookstores. But if you have a burning desire to write your memoir, do it. Don’t let lack of fame keep you from capturing the adventures of your unique life story.

Here are some basic Dos and Don’ts to help get you started:

Do: Use humor and compassion in telling your story, no matter how horrific your past. Being able to laugh at your crazy family and yourself can be a form of healing.

Don’t: Get hung up on details. You can elaborate later.

Do: Begin with a powerful hook. It could be a shocking secret.

Don’t: Start from the beginning, or write chronologically. Your birth or early childhood, which you can’t remember anyway, will bore readers. You can always add the details later after you’ve hooked your reader.

Do: Write your own story as you remember it.

Don’t: Ask siblings, parents, or relatives for advice, opinions, or their memories.

Do: Write from your heart.

Don’t: Worry if readers won’t understand. They will.

Do: Be honest.

Don’t: Lie to yourself. If you’re hiding something too painful to write about, maybe a memoir isn’t for you. Few people have a storybook life. We learn from our mistakes, and, in most cases, are better for it—especially after we write about it.

Do: Be conventional. As with any great page-turner, for your story to be compelling and riveting, it must have a beginning, middle, and end.

Don’t: Get discouraged if your story doesn’t seem to pass muster. Focus on good writing and storytelling.

Do: Keep your spirits up and think positively.

Don’t: Worry about not being famous. Most readers hadn’t heard of Frank McCourt before his memoir, Angela’s Ashes, was published.

Finally, here are some memoirs I have especially enjoyed:

• Angela’s Ashes, by Frank McCourt

• Diary of a Young Girl, by Anne Frank

• I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, by Maya Angelou

• Out of Africa, by Isak Dinesen (a.k.a. Karen Blixen)

• This Boy’s Life: A Memoir, by Tobias Wolff

• Cape Horn: One Man’s Dream, One Woman’s Nightmare,

  by Reanne Hemingway-Douglass